Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog :) This is part six of a little story I'm writing. For anyone who is new here, I would recommend you start at part one and work your way through. Happy reading!
"What?" Nick whispers. His face is white and shocked.
"I'm so sorry," I say, my voice barely audible, choked with tears. Then I turn and run, not wanting to see the accusation in his gaze, because he is absolutely right. I have lied to him for two years. How can he ever trust me again? How can he even look at me?
I flee the silent condemnation. I think he is shouting something - my name, maybe - but I don't wait. I am cowardly enough not to want to face his anger and hurt. I have faced down armies, but I can't face Nick's disappointment in me.
I run all the way up to the palace, to the one place I know Nick won't be able to follow me. It is an effort adopting the meek exterior of a servant - even as tears run down my face - but I force myself to try. Clearly, keeping up appearances is more important than anything; the insistent pain in my chest tells me that.
Lene opens the door and I can see she is about to say something comforting, something nice and kind, something to try to make me feel better when I am so obviously upset.
"I'd like to be alone, please," I say in a shaky voice, doing my best to keep it civil. This is not Lene's fault; telling Nick was entirely my own decision.
"Kim..."
"Wake me an hour before dawn," I say shortly.
Lene knows me well enough to know not to test me right now. She retreats into the servant's room adjoined to the royal bedchamber and closes the door. I know I am being reckless. Crying as loudly as I am, someone could well come in and question why the girl they think of as the queen's servant is lying in her bed.
I feel that I deserve no less than this punishment; for once, I must take what comes with my station. There is no blending into obscurity for me, now; at least, not with Nick. I cannot unsay what I have already said.
I try to tell myself that it was for Nick's protection, that if he knew I was really the queen and Lene really the servant, he would be in danger. As true as this is, I can't erase the absolute shock on his face when I told him. He never saw it coming... and now he must hate me.
It takes hours for me to cry myself out, and even then it is not acceptance, but rather a kind of numbness that takes me. I can't have lost Nick. I love him too much to lose him. The encounter hides in the shadows of my mind, giving me some small amount of protection.
Lene wakes me at dawn, as I asked. I don't stay long enough for her to talk to me, but hurry down to the kitchens to grab something to eat before meeting Julun. Action helps cover the hole inside me that Nick left. I chew on bread that I can't taste as I make my way down to the market, a bow from the armoury clutched in my hand. I figure it's my best bet against the sorceress. I can catch her by surprise and shoot her before she can kill Julun's wife.
Julun is waiting anxiously at the wagon. "Let's go," I say shortly.
"Kim, wait," he says. "Listen. You don't have to do this. You are the queen. You are more valuable to the kingdom than any other one person. Even... even Sarah."
"Yes, Julun, I am the queen," I say. "As queen, it is my duty to protect my people. Who would I be if I let Sarah die without trying to save her?"
"But -"
"This discussion is over," I say shortly. "Stay or go, your choice."
I don't wait to see what he decides, but duck straight under the wagon, crawling into the tunnel beneath it. I have only been going for a few seconds before I hear Julun climbing in behind me. We crawl for a long way, though it seems shorter than yesterday. I have a healthy dread for what lies ahead today, and more than a small fear that I won't come back alive. The tunnel flies by.
Before we exit, I turn to Julun in the darkness. "I'm going to circle around her," I say. "You give me five minutes, then start going towards her. Don't try to hide your approach. Tell her I am dead, and that you can take her to the body - that you couldn't get it away from the castle. While you're talking, I'll come up behind and shoot her."
"Kim, if - "
"Good luck," I say.
Julun tries to talk again, but I am already out, creeping silently around through the trees, going around the glade where I know the sorceress is. I trust Julun to do it, now; he won't hesitate once my life is already in danger and his diversion could save me.
I get around the back of the glade, and move as far forward as I dare. After five minutes has passed, I start moving again. Julun will be distracting her by now. As I get closer to the glade, I think I hear him pushing past bushes to get to it.
Then I hear her voice.
"You have returned very soon. I hope your job is done."
"She is dead," Julun says in a flat voice.
"Where?" the sorceress asks, and I hear suspicion in her voice. I don't let the conversation go on any longer. I draw, aim and shoot.
A gust of wind blows the arrow ever so slightly to the left. It pierces her left lung rather than her heart.
She screams and falls to the ground. She will be dead in minutes, but while alive, she is still dangerous.
"Julun, get down!" I yell.
His eyes meet mine and for a second, I am not sure if he is going to obey.
Then he hits the ground just as a spurt of flame tears through the air where his head was a second earlier.
Drawing another arrow, I shoot again. It pierces her head, and the sorceress lies still.
The rest does not. Her fire has set the forest alight, and Sarah is somewhere in here.
"Julun, spread out and search," I say, glancing around at the burning trees. Where would the sorceress hide Sarah?
I look around, but I can see no sign of her.
Julun, though, seems to be drawn by an invisible force towards a tree - one of the few that is not burning. Leaning down, he lifts a piece of bark - all but invisible - from the ground, and seconds later, he and Sarah are hugging and laughing and crying all at once. He pulls her up from the hole in the ground - I can only guess what instinct or connection to her led him there - and kisses her.
"We have to move," I shout, pulling them apart. Julun seems to realise that the forest is burning, and he grabs Sarah's hand, helping her along as we run.
By the time we have reached the city gates, all three of us have minor burns and are coughing violently. The guards react with alarmed concern, holding me up as I vomit on the dirty ground. Though they don't know who I am, they do me proud with their respect for common citizens - at least, who they think is a common citizen. I am carried up to the palace, and from there it doesn't take long for Lene to find me and have me brought to her chambers.
"I had to save her," I mumble, my throat burning.
Lene strokes my face. "Of course you did," she says gently. "Julun... well, when he's conscious, he'll want to speak to you. I suspect he's thinking of renaming his daughter after you." She grins, and I smile warily back. My eyes flutter closed, but before I can drift off, someone knocks on the door.
I let Lene answer it, listening to the voices that I can't quite make out. A second later, she comes back, accompanied by someone else. I can't make out who it is at first through the haze of my vision. When I do, my breath catches in my chest.
I try to read the expression on his face, but my mind is too jumbled to do it properly. Fear floods through me. I guess I knew I'd have to face this eventually. I had just hoped it wouldn't be so soon.
My voice is a whisper of resignation. "Nick."
To be continued
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