Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog :) This is part two of a little story I'm writing. For anyone who is new here, I would recommend you start at part one and work your way through. Happy reading!
I don't greet my mum as I trudge past her into the house. I can hear her concerned voice carrying up the stairs after me, but my head is buzzing and I can think if little but what I have just seen.
We don't know much about the curse. Now that Josh has it, I'll have to change that. With everyone else having already given up before even trying, it is up to me.
I lie back on my bed, thinking. The curse, if it is going to manifest, comes between the ages of sixteen and twenty. At nineteen, Josh and I thought we were in the clear; apparently not. I swallow a sob and force myself to keep thinking. This can't be hopeless. If I use my head, there must be a way to save Josh.
Nobody can work out why some people get the curse and others don't. It sometimes runs in families, sometimes not. The kind of work the person does, or the environment they live in seems to have no effect on it.
The only consistency is how the curse itself acts. The person cursed becomes immensely powerful - so powerful that they can kill anyone with just a touch. That wouldn't be a problem if their minds weren't corrupted. They quickly start to lose themselves, until they are filled with a desire to kill any living thing.
There is not cure that anyone knows of; to protect others, those with the curse have to be killed.
I get up and start pacing, not able to lie still any longer. Whatever I do, I'll have to do it fast, before Josh can't be controlled anymore. At that time, his father will have no choice but to hand him over to the king's men, who will take him to one of the facilities. No one ever comes out of those facilities alive.
"Lara? Are you ok?"
"Fine!" I call to my mum, hoping she won't come in. I must look a mess right now, and I realise I can't tell her about Josh; she will try to keep me away from him for my own safety. Of course, nothing can keep me away from him, but her efforts will slow me down, and I need to save him fast.
I hear her footsteps coming up the stairs. Cursing, I dive under the covers and pretend to be napping.
"Lara? You seemed upset."
"I'm just tired," I mumble, keeping my eyes semi-open.
"You were going to see Josh - you said you hadn't seen him in days and you were worried."
"He's sick," I say. "It's contagious, that's why he was staying away from everyone. Anyway, I think I've got it now. I just want to sleep."
"Of course, honey," my mum says. "I'll bring you supper later."
"Thank you."
As she closes the door, I realise I will need to act soon. Sooner or later, she will find out that I am lying. I need to get out before that happens. I'm not sure if I can do this alone, though... yet do I have the right to drag someone else into this?
Jane. My best friend would help me, if I asked. Can I ask, though? We could both be killed... yet if I don't get help, Josh will definitely be killed. It is that which makes up my mind. I wait until everyone is asleep, trying to act normally. Near midnight, I grab my pack and start putting in things for a journey. I'm not sure where we'll be going, but it has to be somewhere where there aren't many people who would kill Josh.
I slip out of the window and climb down the tree next to my room. Shouldering the pack, I jog down the street to Jane's house.
"Jane! Jane, wake up"."
I tap gently on the window. Jane has always been a light sleeper and she sits up at once.
"Lara! What's wrong? What's the bag for?" she asks, opening the window.
"I need your help," I say, climbing in. "It's Josh. He's in trouble and we need to rescue him."
"I'll pack my things."
"Wait. First, I must tell you everything. Josh has the curse."
I hear Jane's sharp intake of breath, but can't see her in the darkness. "You think you can save him?" she asks.
"I have to try."
"I'll pack my things," she says again.
As Jane goes around the room shoving things into a pack, I try to plan how we are going to do this. If we don't do it right, not only will Josh and I be killed, but I'll take my best friend down with me.
"Thank you," I whisper. I can always count on Jane, even for something such as this.
In her rush, she doesn't hear me. I stare out into the night, wondering about what we are going to do.
To be continued
Saturday 31 August 2013
Wednesday 28 August 2013
Cursed - part 1
"You shouldn't have come here."
I skitter backwards, just out of his reach, but do not retreat. "Where is he?" I hiss.
"He doesn't want to see you," Harrod says menacingly.
"Like hell he doesn't!" I yell. "You've been trying to keep us apart from the moment we met. Josh!"
I brush past Harrod, running up the stairs at top speed. I half expect him to grab me and beat me senseless, but he lets me go, muttering obscenities under his breath.
"Josh," I call, bursting into his room. Josh is lying on his bed. His hands are in chains tied to the bedpost.
"What did he do to you?" I gasp, rushing to untie him. "Are you alright? How long have you been like this?"
I search the drawers frantically for a key, aware that any second, Harrod could come up here and drag me out.
"Lara. Stop."
"It's ok, I'll get you out of here," I say, still searching. "He can't keep you prisoner, even if you are his son. We'll go to the king if we have to, you are a free man."
"Lara, I asked him to tie me up."
This brings me up short. Slowly, I straighten and look at Josh. "Why?"
He holds my gaze for only a second before addressing the carpet. "I have the curse."
I am vaguely aware of the floor coming up to meet my knees as they give out. "What did you say?" I whisper.
"I have it," Josh says in a broken voice. "It happened three days ago. I asked my dad to tie me up so that I can't hurt anyone."
"But - but you can get help," I sputter, trying to think over the buzzing in my head. "The king has healers, facilities..."
"How many people who go into those facilities ever come out?" Josh says bitterly. "Let's face it, we all know what goes on there. There is no way to break the curse. Those facilities do not try to help those afflicted with the curse; they execute them."
I shake my head dumbly, as though I can change the situation simply by denying it. "But you'll be different," I whisper. "You won't hurt me."
Josh laughs grimly. "You know how the curse works as well as I do. It's just started, but soon enough, I will be able to kill with nothing more than a touch. Soon after that, my mind will start to go. I won't be able to recognise anyone and I will be filled with a raging desire to kill every living thing I see. There's a reason those with the curse are quickly killed; we are too dangerous to keep alive."
"Stop, stop it," I say sharply, getting up and starting to pace. "We both know how bad this is; fixating on that isn't going to help us. We need to think how we are going to solve this. There must be some solution."
Josh looks at me with something I have never seen him direct at me before: scorn. "There is nothing you can do - nothing any of us can do. Just leave me. My father will keep me here until he can no longer control me. Then he will send word to the facility."
"No," I say. "No, Josh, don't you dare give up. You need to fight it! You promised, remember? We both did! We said we would always fight for us."
As he stares at me, I see the beginnings of a crack in his wall of anger; I start to see the true fear and sorrow underneath. Then he pulls up the tough exterior which is his only defence against the terror of reality right now.
"There is no us, Lara. Not any more."
He turns to the door and yells down to his father. "Dad - get her out of here! Make sure she doesn't come back."
I hear Harrod's heavy steps coming up the stairs.
"This isn't over," I say, speaking fast, aware that I only have seconds left. "I'll find a way to save you, Josh, I promise."
Before he can stop me, I lean over him and kiss him swiftly on the lips. "I love you," I whisper.
Then Harrod has me by the arms and is dragging me away from Josh. I am screaming at him and kicking, desperate to get just a few more minutes with the man I love, but Harrod is too strong for me.
"Don't come back here," he says roughly as he throws me out of the front door. I hear his voice break on the last syllable.
I slowly force myself to get up and start trudging back home, thinking of Josh. Everyone has already given up on him, even himself. I am his only hope.
To be continued
I skitter backwards, just out of his reach, but do not retreat. "Where is he?" I hiss.
"He doesn't want to see you," Harrod says menacingly.
"Like hell he doesn't!" I yell. "You've been trying to keep us apart from the moment we met. Josh!"
I brush past Harrod, running up the stairs at top speed. I half expect him to grab me and beat me senseless, but he lets me go, muttering obscenities under his breath.
"Josh," I call, bursting into his room. Josh is lying on his bed. His hands are in chains tied to the bedpost.
"What did he do to you?" I gasp, rushing to untie him. "Are you alright? How long have you been like this?"
I search the drawers frantically for a key, aware that any second, Harrod could come up here and drag me out.
"Lara. Stop."
"It's ok, I'll get you out of here," I say, still searching. "He can't keep you prisoner, even if you are his son. We'll go to the king if we have to, you are a free man."
"Lara, I asked him to tie me up."
This brings me up short. Slowly, I straighten and look at Josh. "Why?"
He holds my gaze for only a second before addressing the carpet. "I have the curse."
I am vaguely aware of the floor coming up to meet my knees as they give out. "What did you say?" I whisper.
"I have it," Josh says in a broken voice. "It happened three days ago. I asked my dad to tie me up so that I can't hurt anyone."
"But - but you can get help," I sputter, trying to think over the buzzing in my head. "The king has healers, facilities..."
"How many people who go into those facilities ever come out?" Josh says bitterly. "Let's face it, we all know what goes on there. There is no way to break the curse. Those facilities do not try to help those afflicted with the curse; they execute them."
I shake my head dumbly, as though I can change the situation simply by denying it. "But you'll be different," I whisper. "You won't hurt me."
Josh laughs grimly. "You know how the curse works as well as I do. It's just started, but soon enough, I will be able to kill with nothing more than a touch. Soon after that, my mind will start to go. I won't be able to recognise anyone and I will be filled with a raging desire to kill every living thing I see. There's a reason those with the curse are quickly killed; we are too dangerous to keep alive."
"Stop, stop it," I say sharply, getting up and starting to pace. "We both know how bad this is; fixating on that isn't going to help us. We need to think how we are going to solve this. There must be some solution."
Josh looks at me with something I have never seen him direct at me before: scorn. "There is nothing you can do - nothing any of us can do. Just leave me. My father will keep me here until he can no longer control me. Then he will send word to the facility."
"No," I say. "No, Josh, don't you dare give up. You need to fight it! You promised, remember? We both did! We said we would always fight for us."
As he stares at me, I see the beginnings of a crack in his wall of anger; I start to see the true fear and sorrow underneath. Then he pulls up the tough exterior which is his only defence against the terror of reality right now.
"There is no us, Lara. Not any more."
He turns to the door and yells down to his father. "Dad - get her out of here! Make sure she doesn't come back."
I hear Harrod's heavy steps coming up the stairs.
"This isn't over," I say, speaking fast, aware that I only have seconds left. "I'll find a way to save you, Josh, I promise."
Before he can stop me, I lean over him and kiss him swiftly on the lips. "I love you," I whisper.
Then Harrod has me by the arms and is dragging me away from Josh. I am screaming at him and kicking, desperate to get just a few more minutes with the man I love, but Harrod is too strong for me.
"Don't come back here," he says roughly as he throws me out of the front door. I hear his voice break on the last syllable.
I slowly force myself to get up and start trudging back home, thinking of Josh. Everyone has already given up on him, even himself. I am his only hope.
To be continued
Sunday 25 August 2013
Hidden - part 7 - final part
Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog :) This is part seven (final part) of a little story I'm writing. For anyone who is new here, I would recommend you start at part one and work your way through. Happy reading!
Andrew and I run out of the tent, tensed and ready for an attack. In our rush, we don't see Breg standing feet from us and I plough into him. The two of us fall to the ground in a heap.
"Sorry," I say quickly, getting up and offering him a hand. "What's going on? We just got here - surely they can't have found us again?"
Breg doesn't take my hand and I glance down at him. He is staring between Andrew and me as though he has seen a ghost.
"Go, see what's wrong," I mutter to Andrew as I crouch down beside Breg. Andrew hurries into the main area of the camp, which is in an uproar.
"Breg, what's wrong?" I say.
He just gapes at me.
"Use words, Breg," I say, a tad impatient. "If we're in danger, you had better start talking."
"You... you just appeared," he says faintly. "You just appeared out of thin air."
I glance behind me and see the flap of our tent standing wide open. Appear out of thin air? Evidently, I must have knocked Breg's head when I bashed into him. He's confused.
"That's right, Breg, just stay here, now," I say soothingly, putting a hand on his shoulder. I get up and make to follow Andrew, not comfortable having him out of my sight in a possibly dangerous situation. Of course, I well know that if we face another attack, Andrew, as a wizard, will be a lot less helpless than I am. Still, he would be dead if I hadn't gotten him to the hidden camp in the first place. We rely on each other.
Before I have to look far, Andrew comes jogging back, followed by a crowd of people, all of whom look a little like Breg - like they have just seen something impossible and shocking. I raise my eyebrows at Andrew. Well?
He rolls his eyes, leaning forward to whisper in my ear. "I think they're playing a practical joke on us, Megs. They're pretending that our tent disappeared with us inside it."
I laugh aloud. Of all the unbelievable stories, they could have chosen better.
Breg pushes himself to his feet and speaks in a shaky voice. "You can't do that, Andrew," he says. "No one has the power to hide places like that. Objects, maybe, but not anything as big as a tent and everything inside it, even for a second, never mind minutes!"
Something in his voice makes me think that maybe, maybe he isn't joking. "Breg, our tent is right there," I say, gesturing impatiently. He looks right through the tent and to the person standing behind it. Frowning, Andrew takes his arm and leads him forward.
Breg follows, but then suddenly stops, as though pushed back by an invisible wall. Andrew tries to pull him, but Breg seems to be pressed up against some kind of barrier we can't see. I don't think he is that good an actor.
I walk forward, trying to feel the same thing, but I am standing right next to Andrew in seconds.
"Megan?" Berg's voice is anxious. "Where did you go?"
I exchange a glance with Andrew. Everyone else is wearing expressions similar to Breg. They really can't see us behind whatever invisible line has been drawn around out tent. Together, Andrew and I step out, and the crowd exhales as one in relief.
"Ok, what's going on?" Breg demands.
"That's exactly what we'd like to know," Andrew says. "How is it that there is suddenly some kind of barrier around our tent?"
"Call Sophie," someone says, and there is some shuffling in the back. Sophie isn't a sorceress, exactly, in that she doesn't have the same powers as most sorceresses do, but she does have a strange ability to judge the abilities of others. Sophie is ushered forward to examine the barrier. She barely even looks at it, though. She is staring at me.
"You," she whispers.
"Me what?" I ask, nonplussed.
"You..." she appears lost for words for a moment. "You have magic," she says slowly. "Maybe you didn't intend it, but you put up this barrier. Your magic isn't like ours - that's why we didn't recognise it - but you have it. If you could learn to control your gift..."
She doesn't need to finish. If I could learn to control my gift, I could hide us from the king forever.
I meet her gaze with a steely one of my own. For a second, we are the only two people in the world.
"Teach me," I say.
Four months later
"So you like it'?" Andrew asks.
"It's amazing!" I squeal, turning in circles. It took Andrew weeks to build the house, with both physical labour and magic, but now that it is done, we both agree that it was well worth it. Everyone is building houses now - now that we can have more than just portable tents. Now that we have a permanent home.
It took me two months to learn to master my gift of hiding locations, but when I did, we were ready. We had already located the perfect campsite - the one that would be more than just a campsite. The one where we could live in peace for the rest of our lives, perfectly hidden from the king and his soldiers.
As I look through the window, there is no dome in the sky, as there was in my dream, but I know we are hidden - we've tested it thoroughly. No one will find us here, where we are truly hidden.
"You did it," Andrew whispers in my ear.
I nod, smiling incandescently at him as his words really sink in. No more fear, no more running. "Yes. And now we're safe. Forever."
"Forever," he agrees.
The End
Andrew and I run out of the tent, tensed and ready for an attack. In our rush, we don't see Breg standing feet from us and I plough into him. The two of us fall to the ground in a heap.
"Sorry," I say quickly, getting up and offering him a hand. "What's going on? We just got here - surely they can't have found us again?"
Breg doesn't take my hand and I glance down at him. He is staring between Andrew and me as though he has seen a ghost.
"Go, see what's wrong," I mutter to Andrew as I crouch down beside Breg. Andrew hurries into the main area of the camp, which is in an uproar.
"Breg, what's wrong?" I say.
He just gapes at me.
"Use words, Breg," I say, a tad impatient. "If we're in danger, you had better start talking."
"You... you just appeared," he says faintly. "You just appeared out of thin air."
I glance behind me and see the flap of our tent standing wide open. Appear out of thin air? Evidently, I must have knocked Breg's head when I bashed into him. He's confused.
"That's right, Breg, just stay here, now," I say soothingly, putting a hand on his shoulder. I get up and make to follow Andrew, not comfortable having him out of my sight in a possibly dangerous situation. Of course, I well know that if we face another attack, Andrew, as a wizard, will be a lot less helpless than I am. Still, he would be dead if I hadn't gotten him to the hidden camp in the first place. We rely on each other.
Before I have to look far, Andrew comes jogging back, followed by a crowd of people, all of whom look a little like Breg - like they have just seen something impossible and shocking. I raise my eyebrows at Andrew. Well?
He rolls his eyes, leaning forward to whisper in my ear. "I think they're playing a practical joke on us, Megs. They're pretending that our tent disappeared with us inside it."
I laugh aloud. Of all the unbelievable stories, they could have chosen better.
Breg pushes himself to his feet and speaks in a shaky voice. "You can't do that, Andrew," he says. "No one has the power to hide places like that. Objects, maybe, but not anything as big as a tent and everything inside it, even for a second, never mind minutes!"
Something in his voice makes me think that maybe, maybe he isn't joking. "Breg, our tent is right there," I say, gesturing impatiently. He looks right through the tent and to the person standing behind it. Frowning, Andrew takes his arm and leads him forward.
Breg follows, but then suddenly stops, as though pushed back by an invisible wall. Andrew tries to pull him, but Breg seems to be pressed up against some kind of barrier we can't see. I don't think he is that good an actor.
I walk forward, trying to feel the same thing, but I am standing right next to Andrew in seconds.
"Megan?" Berg's voice is anxious. "Where did you go?"
I exchange a glance with Andrew. Everyone else is wearing expressions similar to Breg. They really can't see us behind whatever invisible line has been drawn around out tent. Together, Andrew and I step out, and the crowd exhales as one in relief.
"Ok, what's going on?" Breg demands.
"That's exactly what we'd like to know," Andrew says. "How is it that there is suddenly some kind of barrier around our tent?"
"Call Sophie," someone says, and there is some shuffling in the back. Sophie isn't a sorceress, exactly, in that she doesn't have the same powers as most sorceresses do, but she does have a strange ability to judge the abilities of others. Sophie is ushered forward to examine the barrier. She barely even looks at it, though. She is staring at me.
"You," she whispers.
"Me what?" I ask, nonplussed.
"You..." she appears lost for words for a moment. "You have magic," she says slowly. "Maybe you didn't intend it, but you put up this barrier. Your magic isn't like ours - that's why we didn't recognise it - but you have it. If you could learn to control your gift..."
She doesn't need to finish. If I could learn to control my gift, I could hide us from the king forever.
I meet her gaze with a steely one of my own. For a second, we are the only two people in the world.
"Teach me," I say.
Four months later
"So you like it'?" Andrew asks.
"It's amazing!" I squeal, turning in circles. It took Andrew weeks to build the house, with both physical labour and magic, but now that it is done, we both agree that it was well worth it. Everyone is building houses now - now that we can have more than just portable tents. Now that we have a permanent home.
It took me two months to learn to master my gift of hiding locations, but when I did, we were ready. We had already located the perfect campsite - the one that would be more than just a campsite. The one where we could live in peace for the rest of our lives, perfectly hidden from the king and his soldiers.
As I look through the window, there is no dome in the sky, as there was in my dream, but I know we are hidden - we've tested it thoroughly. No one will find us here, where we are truly hidden.
"You did it," Andrew whispers in my ear.
I nod, smiling incandescently at him as his words really sink in. No more fear, no more running. "Yes. And now we're safe. Forever."
"Forever," he agrees.
The End
Thursday 22 August 2013
Hidden - part 6
Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog :) This is part six of a little story I'm writing. For anyone who is new here, I would recommend you start at part one and work your way through. Happy reading!
"All settled in?" Breg asks, sticking his head into our tent.
"Yes, we're fine, thanks," Andrew says. I look up a minute too late, and Breg has already left.
"Are you ok?" Andrew asks me, turning my head so that he is looking into my eyes.
"I'm fine," I say, not meeting his gaze. I keep wracking my brains, trying to think of a solution, but I don't see any. The nomadic life that all wizards have to live is already wearing on Andrew - I can see it in his eyes. He can't keep going like this for years, always looking over his shoulder, watching for the king's men, come to kill all traces of magic.
I can't watch anything destroy the man I love. I brought him here to save him. Now, I need to find a way to keep him.
"Megs, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," I mumble. He doesn't look away. I try not to meet his gaze, but eventually my eyes are drawn up to his. There's not point trying to keep secrets from Andrew. "This doesn't suit you," I say finally. "You can't keep running your whole life. I know you. You need a home, not a series of camps."
"I'll be fine," Andrew says. "Really, Megan, don't worry about me. I know we need to stay ahead of the king's men if we want to survive. I will do what is necessary."
Far from reassuring me, his words only heighten my sense of alarm. His voice sounds so weary. How long before weariness starts to wear him down? Constant fear can do a lot to a person if they don't know how to deal with it. Most people here to alright, but I've seen the back vans - people with vacant expressions, herded along by the others, those who can't cope with the ever changing situation and the fear that comes with it.
How long do I have before I lose Andrew to that? If I know anything, it is that I won't survive losing him. I need to find us a safe place before it's too late. I lie back on the bed, thinking. If we went off on our own, we'd be harder to find, but when they did find us - which they would, eventually - we'd have no chance of escape.
No, sticking with the group is really the only option. Then we need to find a place for all of us that is hidden enough to hide us forever, so that we can finally be safe. Of course, the others will have thought of that; if they haven't found such a place in all these years, I doubt I will.
"Tell me what you're thinking," Andrew coaxes softly, but I turn my face away. He will only try to reassure me more. I don't need reassurances; I need a solution, and right now, I don't have one.
"Come on, you should train," I say, making an effort to shake off the gloom that surrounds me.
"We've had a long ride to get here; I'm sure they'll give us the day off," Andrew says.
"Don't be lazy," I chide, swatting him playfully on the arm. "I didn't drag you through miles of forest to get here and have you slack off!"
Catching on to my light hearted tone, Andrew laughs and ducks out from under the tent flap. I follow and find Breg waiting. Apparently, I am not the only one who still expects a full day's training.
I sit against a tree and watch as Breg takes Andrew through various exercises in magic, working on everything from power to control. After about half an hour, Andrew takes Breg's arm and turns him so that they are facing away while Andrew whispers something in his ear.
I frown, wondering what they are up to. Breg nods and proceeds to instruct Andrew in a hushed voice, so that I can't hear. Before I can get up to ask what's going on, Andrew nods and comes over to sit beside me. "What was that about?" I ask.
Andrew doesn't answer, his eyes closed, focusing hard on something.
"Andrew, what - "
I break off as the strangest feeling sweeps through me. It's as though all of the dark cobwebs in my mind are being swept away by a bright ray of sunlight. The gloom that has had me ever since I realised that this camp is not a long term solution for Andrew vanishes. In an instant, I feel... happy. Amazingly happy.
Andrew's eyes are open and he's grinning at me. "I can see that worked."
"What did you do?" I giggle, not even alarmed, my heart is so light.
"Happiness spell," Andrew says. "It's not permanent, but I could tell that you needed it."
I lean forward and kiss him. "You're right. Thank you."
As we walk back to the tent a few hours later, though I know I should feel worried and upset, all I can feel is confident. This will work out, somehow. We will find a place that is truly hidden, that the king's men can never find. I fall asleep in Andrew's arms thinking about it.
The dream creeps up on me.
For a while, I am just gazing blankly at the horizon, not really aware of what I am seeing. By the time I realise, the king's men are close; much too close. There is not time to break camp and move on - they will be on us in minutes. We'll have to hide or fight.
I glance over at Andrew. He is sleeping peacefully. I don't want him to have to awake to a bloody battle. I raise my arms, imagining a shining bubble, a dome covering our whole campsite, hiding us from the soldiers. As sometimes happens in dreams, what I imagine comes to life and a clear dome shimmers above us.
I giggle as the king's men come to a bewildered stop, looking all around for us. My task completed, I lie down next to Andrew, finally safe.
"Megs, wake up," Andrew says urgently, shaking my shoulder. "There's something wrong."
I sit up abruptly and know at once that the calming effects of the happiness spell have worn off. Fear sings through me as I hear people shouting outside.
"Where could they have gone?"
"I don't know, but they were right here!"
"Well obviously they aren't anymore!"
"Ouch! What is that?"
The angry voices get further and further away, but the tense, worried atmosphere that suddenly pervades the whole camp does not. I exchange a glance with Andrew.
Something is terribly wrong.
To be continued.
"All settled in?" Breg asks, sticking his head into our tent.
"Yes, we're fine, thanks," Andrew says. I look up a minute too late, and Breg has already left.
"Are you ok?" Andrew asks me, turning my head so that he is looking into my eyes.
"I'm fine," I say, not meeting his gaze. I keep wracking my brains, trying to think of a solution, but I don't see any. The nomadic life that all wizards have to live is already wearing on Andrew - I can see it in his eyes. He can't keep going like this for years, always looking over his shoulder, watching for the king's men, come to kill all traces of magic.
I can't watch anything destroy the man I love. I brought him here to save him. Now, I need to find a way to keep him.
"Megs, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," I mumble. He doesn't look away. I try not to meet his gaze, but eventually my eyes are drawn up to his. There's not point trying to keep secrets from Andrew. "This doesn't suit you," I say finally. "You can't keep running your whole life. I know you. You need a home, not a series of camps."
"I'll be fine," Andrew says. "Really, Megan, don't worry about me. I know we need to stay ahead of the king's men if we want to survive. I will do what is necessary."
Far from reassuring me, his words only heighten my sense of alarm. His voice sounds so weary. How long before weariness starts to wear him down? Constant fear can do a lot to a person if they don't know how to deal with it. Most people here to alright, but I've seen the back vans - people with vacant expressions, herded along by the others, those who can't cope with the ever changing situation and the fear that comes with it.
How long do I have before I lose Andrew to that? If I know anything, it is that I won't survive losing him. I need to find us a safe place before it's too late. I lie back on the bed, thinking. If we went off on our own, we'd be harder to find, but when they did find us - which they would, eventually - we'd have no chance of escape.
No, sticking with the group is really the only option. Then we need to find a place for all of us that is hidden enough to hide us forever, so that we can finally be safe. Of course, the others will have thought of that; if they haven't found such a place in all these years, I doubt I will.
"Tell me what you're thinking," Andrew coaxes softly, but I turn my face away. He will only try to reassure me more. I don't need reassurances; I need a solution, and right now, I don't have one.
"Come on, you should train," I say, making an effort to shake off the gloom that surrounds me.
"We've had a long ride to get here; I'm sure they'll give us the day off," Andrew says.
"Don't be lazy," I chide, swatting him playfully on the arm. "I didn't drag you through miles of forest to get here and have you slack off!"
Catching on to my light hearted tone, Andrew laughs and ducks out from under the tent flap. I follow and find Breg waiting. Apparently, I am not the only one who still expects a full day's training.
I sit against a tree and watch as Breg takes Andrew through various exercises in magic, working on everything from power to control. After about half an hour, Andrew takes Breg's arm and turns him so that they are facing away while Andrew whispers something in his ear.
I frown, wondering what they are up to. Breg nods and proceeds to instruct Andrew in a hushed voice, so that I can't hear. Before I can get up to ask what's going on, Andrew nods and comes over to sit beside me. "What was that about?" I ask.
Andrew doesn't answer, his eyes closed, focusing hard on something.
"Andrew, what - "
I break off as the strangest feeling sweeps through me. It's as though all of the dark cobwebs in my mind are being swept away by a bright ray of sunlight. The gloom that has had me ever since I realised that this camp is not a long term solution for Andrew vanishes. In an instant, I feel... happy. Amazingly happy.
Andrew's eyes are open and he's grinning at me. "I can see that worked."
"What did you do?" I giggle, not even alarmed, my heart is so light.
"Happiness spell," Andrew says. "It's not permanent, but I could tell that you needed it."
I lean forward and kiss him. "You're right. Thank you."
As we walk back to the tent a few hours later, though I know I should feel worried and upset, all I can feel is confident. This will work out, somehow. We will find a place that is truly hidden, that the king's men can never find. I fall asleep in Andrew's arms thinking about it.
The dream creeps up on me.
For a while, I am just gazing blankly at the horizon, not really aware of what I am seeing. By the time I realise, the king's men are close; much too close. There is not time to break camp and move on - they will be on us in minutes. We'll have to hide or fight.
I glance over at Andrew. He is sleeping peacefully. I don't want him to have to awake to a bloody battle. I raise my arms, imagining a shining bubble, a dome covering our whole campsite, hiding us from the soldiers. As sometimes happens in dreams, what I imagine comes to life and a clear dome shimmers above us.
I giggle as the king's men come to a bewildered stop, looking all around for us. My task completed, I lie down next to Andrew, finally safe.
"Megs, wake up," Andrew says urgently, shaking my shoulder. "There's something wrong."
I sit up abruptly and know at once that the calming effects of the happiness spell have worn off. Fear sings through me as I hear people shouting outside.
"Where could they have gone?"
"I don't know, but they were right here!"
"Well obviously they aren't anymore!"
"Ouch! What is that?"
The angry voices get further and further away, but the tense, worried atmosphere that suddenly pervades the whole camp does not. I exchange a glance with Andrew.
Something is terribly wrong.
To be continued.
Monday 19 August 2013
Hidden - part 5
Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog :) This is part five of a little story I'm writing. For anyone who is new here, I would recommend you start at part one and work your way through. Happy reading!
I lean back against the tree, watching. Andrew's face is screwed up in concentration, though he is not doing anything visible to the naked eye - or at least, to mine. The surrounding wizards watch intently, able to see the flow of magic that I cannot.
Without warning, Andrew yells and crumples.
"Better," Breg says, offering him a hand up. "You still need practice, but you're learning fast."
I hop up and go over to Andrew. "You're doing well," I say, though in truth I have no idea how he is doing apart from what others tell me. "I'm proud of you."
He leans into me, still breathing hard from the exercise. "Love you," he murmurs.
"You too," I say, breathing in the smell of him.
"Ok, let's get back to -"
Breg is cut off by the sound of a horn in the distance. I sigh. Really? Again?
It is a resigned air more than a panicked one that fills the camp. Everyone drops what they are doing and hurries to their sleeping quarters to start packing. I follow Andrew to our room, grumbling under my breath.
We have been hidden in the training grounds for three months and in that time we have had to move twice. The king's men are always trying to kill off the wizards, so we have to be constantly alert. Living as fugitives for the crime of having magic means speed is life.
In less than fifteen minutes, we packed and moving. Horses are hastily saddled and we assemble into a long column. Together, there are about fifty of us. Though most wizards are men, there are a few women, some of whom prefer to call themselves sorceresses. No one much minds what they call themselves, as long as they do their duties.
"Andrew, can you take the back?" Breg calls.
"Will do," Andrew says, looking excited. I bite my lip. People at the back are the closest to the king's men. Still, it is an important job, erasing our tracks with magic. We'd never survive without it.
I follow Andrew to the very end of the column. "Megs, what are you doing?"
"Breg said we're at the back."
"No, Breg said I'm at the back. You don't have magic; you should stay in the middle like everyone else like you."
I ignore him. Andrew must know there is no way I am leaving him alone. I am not the only one here without magic - many friends and families risked everything to bring their loved ones here when their magic started to consume them from within. Others were not so lucky; others' families abandoned them.
Andrew must see the shadow in my eyes, because he doesn't argue, but takes my hand as we walk towards our horses. I think back. When his family found out Andrew had magic, they abandoned him for death, shutting him out of the house. I was all he had. For a while, we thought that wasn't enough; we thought we wouldn't make it.
I am interrupted in my thoughts by the start of the move. We set off at a brisk trot. We always have more hidden camps lined up. The first thing scouts do is look for a new place to move to when we are inevitably discovered. We sometimes last a while, but we have to move eventually.
Andrew looks wistfully back at the camp. "You liked this one," I state.
"It's not this one in particular. I like having some place to call home. Is this the rest of our lives?" He gestures around to the changing scenery. "Will we ever be able to live without looking over our shoulders?"
"It's life," I say softly. "When all's said and done, we're lucky to have that much."
Andrew brings his horse slightly closer to mine so that he can rest his hand on my shoulder. "You're right. Of course you are. We're both lucky to be alive."
Still, as we head on, I see that Andrew is not saying everything. I was always the better one for adapting to change. This has hit him much harder than me. He's fine now, but what about ten, fifteen, twenty years from now? Will he still be fine? Or will this fitful life of fear and running finally break him?
As I watch him, an icy chill runs up my spine. I realise I don't know the answer.
To be continued
I lean back against the tree, watching. Andrew's face is screwed up in concentration, though he is not doing anything visible to the naked eye - or at least, to mine. The surrounding wizards watch intently, able to see the flow of magic that I cannot.
Without warning, Andrew yells and crumples.
"Better," Breg says, offering him a hand up. "You still need practice, but you're learning fast."
I hop up and go over to Andrew. "You're doing well," I say, though in truth I have no idea how he is doing apart from what others tell me. "I'm proud of you."
He leans into me, still breathing hard from the exercise. "Love you," he murmurs.
"You too," I say, breathing in the smell of him.
"Ok, let's get back to -"
Breg is cut off by the sound of a horn in the distance. I sigh. Really? Again?
It is a resigned air more than a panicked one that fills the camp. Everyone drops what they are doing and hurries to their sleeping quarters to start packing. I follow Andrew to our room, grumbling under my breath.
We have been hidden in the training grounds for three months and in that time we have had to move twice. The king's men are always trying to kill off the wizards, so we have to be constantly alert. Living as fugitives for the crime of having magic means speed is life.
In less than fifteen minutes, we packed and moving. Horses are hastily saddled and we assemble into a long column. Together, there are about fifty of us. Though most wizards are men, there are a few women, some of whom prefer to call themselves sorceresses. No one much minds what they call themselves, as long as they do their duties.
"Andrew, can you take the back?" Breg calls.
"Will do," Andrew says, looking excited. I bite my lip. People at the back are the closest to the king's men. Still, it is an important job, erasing our tracks with magic. We'd never survive without it.
I follow Andrew to the very end of the column. "Megs, what are you doing?"
"Breg said we're at the back."
"No, Breg said I'm at the back. You don't have magic; you should stay in the middle like everyone else like you."
I ignore him. Andrew must know there is no way I am leaving him alone. I am not the only one here without magic - many friends and families risked everything to bring their loved ones here when their magic started to consume them from within. Others were not so lucky; others' families abandoned them.
Andrew must see the shadow in my eyes, because he doesn't argue, but takes my hand as we walk towards our horses. I think back. When his family found out Andrew had magic, they abandoned him for death, shutting him out of the house. I was all he had. For a while, we thought that wasn't enough; we thought we wouldn't make it.
I am interrupted in my thoughts by the start of the move. We set off at a brisk trot. We always have more hidden camps lined up. The first thing scouts do is look for a new place to move to when we are inevitably discovered. We sometimes last a while, but we have to move eventually.
Andrew looks wistfully back at the camp. "You liked this one," I state.
"It's not this one in particular. I like having some place to call home. Is this the rest of our lives?" He gestures around to the changing scenery. "Will we ever be able to live without looking over our shoulders?"
"It's life," I say softly. "When all's said and done, we're lucky to have that much."
Andrew brings his horse slightly closer to mine so that he can rest his hand on my shoulder. "You're right. Of course you are. We're both lucky to be alive."
Still, as we head on, I see that Andrew is not saying everything. I was always the better one for adapting to change. This has hit him much harder than me. He's fine now, but what about ten, fifteen, twenty years from now? Will he still be fine? Or will this fitful life of fear and running finally break him?
As I watch him, an icy chill runs up my spine. I realise I don't know the answer.
To be continued
Friday 16 August 2013
Hidden - part 4
Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog :) This is part four of a little story I'm writing. For anyone who is new here, I would recommend you start at part one and work your way through. Happy reading!
When I wake up, for a second, I don't remember where I am or why am I here. The straw mattress underneath me is not familiar and the sunlight is coming from the wrong angle. I try to sit up in alarm, but my body feels too heavy.
I close my eyes to stop the blurry world from spinning, trying to remember. There was a man carrying me through the forest... I guess I must have passed out at some point, as I have no memory of coming to this small room with rough wooden walls and one tiny window.
I groan in frustration, trying to remember.
"Megan? Are you awake?"
My eyes fly open, trying to make the images come back into focus. "Andrew?"
"I'm here," he says. I can feel his hand squeezing mine, and slowly, his face slides into focus. He looks worried and exhausted, but unhurt. It all comes back to me in a flash. The wild dash through the forest. Thinking we wouldn't make it in time. The fear of Andrew dying...
"You'll be ok," he says, brushing my hair off my face. "You were in a bad way when Breg found you, but he healed you. He says you'll just be groggy for a while, but you'll be fine.
"What about you?" I ask urgently. "Have they managed to help you?"
Andrew smiles for the first time, nodding before I have even finished my sentence. "The first thing they did was give me this." He shows me a plain black, shiny stone that fits neatly into his palm. "They taught me how to channel excess magic into this so that it doesn't hurt anyone. Later, I will learn to control when the magic comes out in the first place, but for now, this will keep me safe - and keep everyone else safe from me."
I sigh in relief, closing my eyes.
"Andrew." I wait until he is looking at me. "You ran away."
"I couldn't hurt you any - "
"I don't want to hear it," I snap. "You could have died. Died, Andrew. What I want is your promise never to do anything like that again."
"Megs, you know I only did it so that I couldn't hurt you. I can't promise I wouldn't do the same thing again, because I would."
I take a deep breath, praying for patience. "Let's look at it the other way around. If I had the power of a wizard and my magic was destroying me, you'd risk everything to take me to the training grounds and save me. Then say I kept hurting you, not being able to help it. Afraid of hurting you more, I ran off into the wilderness, knowing full well that I would probably die there.
"What would hurt you more, Andrew? What would a few injuries be compared to my death? What would anything be compared to that? Do you have any idea what it felt like to be left behind? To think I'd seen you for the last time? You don't - "
I hate myself for allowing tears to creep into my voice, but I can't help it. After all these years, how can he still not understand? I can't live without him; he should know that by now.
After wanting nothing more than to see Andrew alive and safe, I find that I suddenly can't stand the sight of him. I turn to face the wall, giving him nothing but cold silence. The silence seems to go on forever and I wonder if he has left the room.
His hand tentatively touches my back. I ignore it.
"I'm so sorry, Megs," he says softly. "You're right. I didn't think. I'll do better next time, I promise."
I am not eager to forgive him so quickly, but I can't stay angry with Andrew. I turn around to face him and reach out. We come together, wrapping our arms around each other. "I love you," he whispers in my ear.
"I love you," I whisper back.
We stay suspended there for what could have been hours, or perhaps only minutes. Andrew only breaks away when there is a light knock on the door. Breg comes in, carrying two steaming bowls.
"Good, Megan, you're awake. Come, eat. You too, Andrew." Breg sets the bowls down, smiling at me. "He wouldn't eat a bite while you were unconscious. Said he couldn't. Stubborn man you've got here."
I laugh, reaching for the food, finding that I am famished. Andrew and I eat in silence while Breg waits patiently. Finally, when we are done, he stands, gesturing for us to follow him.
"Come on, it's time to meet the others. These people will become like your family soon enough. You should get to know them."
Andrew helps me up, half-supporting me; I guess I'm still quite weak. Breg opens the door and I see bright sunlight streaming through.
"Welcome," Breg says, "to the hidden training grounds."
To be continued
When I wake up, for a second, I don't remember where I am or why am I here. The straw mattress underneath me is not familiar and the sunlight is coming from the wrong angle. I try to sit up in alarm, but my body feels too heavy.
I close my eyes to stop the blurry world from spinning, trying to remember. There was a man carrying me through the forest... I guess I must have passed out at some point, as I have no memory of coming to this small room with rough wooden walls and one tiny window.
I groan in frustration, trying to remember.
"Megan? Are you awake?"
My eyes fly open, trying to make the images come back into focus. "Andrew?"
"I'm here," he says. I can feel his hand squeezing mine, and slowly, his face slides into focus. He looks worried and exhausted, but unhurt. It all comes back to me in a flash. The wild dash through the forest. Thinking we wouldn't make it in time. The fear of Andrew dying...
"You'll be ok," he says, brushing my hair off my face. "You were in a bad way when Breg found you, but he healed you. He says you'll just be groggy for a while, but you'll be fine.
"What about you?" I ask urgently. "Have they managed to help you?"
Andrew smiles for the first time, nodding before I have even finished my sentence. "The first thing they did was give me this." He shows me a plain black, shiny stone that fits neatly into his palm. "They taught me how to channel excess magic into this so that it doesn't hurt anyone. Later, I will learn to control when the magic comes out in the first place, but for now, this will keep me safe - and keep everyone else safe from me."
I sigh in relief, closing my eyes.
"Andrew." I wait until he is looking at me. "You ran away."
"I couldn't hurt you any - "
"I don't want to hear it," I snap. "You could have died. Died, Andrew. What I want is your promise never to do anything like that again."
"Megs, you know I only did it so that I couldn't hurt you. I can't promise I wouldn't do the same thing again, because I would."
I take a deep breath, praying for patience. "Let's look at it the other way around. If I had the power of a wizard and my magic was destroying me, you'd risk everything to take me to the training grounds and save me. Then say I kept hurting you, not being able to help it. Afraid of hurting you more, I ran off into the wilderness, knowing full well that I would probably die there.
"What would hurt you more, Andrew? What would a few injuries be compared to my death? What would anything be compared to that? Do you have any idea what it felt like to be left behind? To think I'd seen you for the last time? You don't - "
I hate myself for allowing tears to creep into my voice, but I can't help it. After all these years, how can he still not understand? I can't live without him; he should know that by now.
After wanting nothing more than to see Andrew alive and safe, I find that I suddenly can't stand the sight of him. I turn to face the wall, giving him nothing but cold silence. The silence seems to go on forever and I wonder if he has left the room.
His hand tentatively touches my back. I ignore it.
"I'm so sorry, Megs," he says softly. "You're right. I didn't think. I'll do better next time, I promise."
I am not eager to forgive him so quickly, but I can't stay angry with Andrew. I turn around to face him and reach out. We come together, wrapping our arms around each other. "I love you," he whispers in my ear.
"I love you," I whisper back.
We stay suspended there for what could have been hours, or perhaps only minutes. Andrew only breaks away when there is a light knock on the door. Breg comes in, carrying two steaming bowls.
"Good, Megan, you're awake. Come, eat. You too, Andrew." Breg sets the bowls down, smiling at me. "He wouldn't eat a bite while you were unconscious. Said he couldn't. Stubborn man you've got here."
I laugh, reaching for the food, finding that I am famished. Andrew and I eat in silence while Breg waits patiently. Finally, when we are done, he stands, gesturing for us to follow him.
"Come on, it's time to meet the others. These people will become like your family soon enough. You should get to know them."
Andrew helps me up, half-supporting me; I guess I'm still quite weak. Breg opens the door and I see bright sunlight streaming through.
"Welcome," Breg says, "to the hidden training grounds."
To be continued
Tuesday 13 August 2013
Hidden - part 3
Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog :) This is part three of a little story I'm writing. For anyone who is new here, I would recommend you start at part one and work your way through. Happy reading!
I stumble, angrily wiping away the tears that are blurring my vision. Andrew has been all alone for the whole day; who knows what could have happened to him? If his out of control magic injured him and I wasn't there to help... in his weakened state, he could die so easily.
"ANDREW!" I yell, glaring at the surrounding forest. It is no use. Even if he could hear me, he wouldn't answer. He is so afraid of hurting me without meaning to, he's going to end up killing himself - as though that wouldn't hurt me a million times worse!
"Andrew, get out here right now!" I rage impotently.
I lean against a tree, trying to get my breathing under control. I can't help Andrew if I'm panicking. I need to use my head. I need to think.
It takes all of my will power to force myself to remain still and try to reason this out. Andrew must have left as soon as I fell asleep. That means he's been alone for just over twelve hours, now. He would need water. We didn't have time to bring water skins with us when we fled, which means one thing.
River.
The thought has barely entered my head when I am running. Andrew would need to stay near a river if he wanted to drink. I am totally lost in the vast forest now, but I still have the map. I crouch down and search it before standing up and sprinting off again.
The nearest river runs roughly parallel to our home, but that's not the one Andrew would have followed. He would have taken the other, the one that leads to our destination. He would try to make it to the hidden training grounds and save himself. "You should have taken the map," I mutter, clutching it in my hand. How is he going to find them now?
Cursing myself for wasting half the day on useless panic, I jog to the river. I don't see any sign of Andrew, but this does not surprise me. It's been hours, and any sign could have long ago washed away - or been removed by Andrew himself. I close my eyes for a moment, shuddering when I imagine what he is going through now, attacked by his own power and me not there to help him.
I start to run.
The ground is flat and I am going against the flow of water. While the river is wide, I could wade across it if I really wanted to. I don't want to; I want to find Andrew. My breath comes in sharp gasps, but I don't allow myself to slow down. Andrew could be dying even now, waiting for me to come and save him.
I strain my ears and eyes, searching for any sign of anything out of the ordinary that could indicate Andrew is close by. There is nothing. I fight the rising panic. The only thing I can do is keep going.
As the sun sets, I don't stop. I know I should make camp, but I can't bear the thought of stopping when there is breath in my body, knowing that I may be leaving the man I love to his death.
It is full dark soon, but the moon and stars provide enough light for me to keep running. I can feel my muscles shaking in exhaustion, but I ignore them. There are more important things right now.
I don't see the hole in the ground until it catches my foot. I scream as I plunge forward, over the bank, my foot still caught in the hole at the top. I hear a sickening crunch as my leg breaks.
I clamp my hands over my mouth, not because I think anyone is near, but because the sound of my own screams is not really helping me stay calm. Gritting my teeth, I lean awkwardly back and free my foot. The pain is unlike anything I have ever imagined. I lean over to throw up, heaving violently. When it stops, I have only one thought.
Andrew. I still need to find him.
I make to get up, but I can't balance on one leg without a staff, and all the branches lying around are thin and brittle. I sigh, trying very hard not to start crying. I can't walk. There is nothing else for it; I'll have to crawl.
That night is the longest I have ever lived through. Every movement makes the pain worse, but the pain of stopping is the worst of all: the fear that Andrew is dying because I am not with him. I drag myself along on my elbows, my eyes screwed up and my mouth clamped shut.
By the time the sun rises, I feel barely human. I am covered in dirt and leaves, and in so much pain that I can hardly even remember why I am here, only that I need to keep going.
Just one elbow in front of the other, Megan, I tell myself. One, two, one two. That's it.
As I lift my head just an inch to see where I can put my elbow next, my eyes light on a pair of boots. I strain my neck to look right up at the man they belong to. He is tall and middle aged - normal looking - but he has some air about him that hints at the extraordinary.
"You must be Megan," he says, smiling down at me.
I take a minute to work some moisture into my mouth, trying to reply. "Who are you?"
"My name is Breg. Andrew told me to look out for you."
I am suddenly suffused with energy. "Andrew? You have him? He's ok?"
Breg smiles and reaches under my arm, pulling me to my feet, where I sway unsteadily on my one working leg. "Yes, we found him in time. He's at the training grounds. He said you wouldn't give up looking for him, no matter what. I guess he was right."
"Will you take me to him?"
"That's what I'm here for."
I sag in relief, and Breg hastily puts his arm around me, helping to hold me up.
"You're one of them, aren't you?" I say. "One of the ones hidden from the king?"
"Yes," Breg says. "Yes, I'm a wizard."
To be continued
I stumble, angrily wiping away the tears that are blurring my vision. Andrew has been all alone for the whole day; who knows what could have happened to him? If his out of control magic injured him and I wasn't there to help... in his weakened state, he could die so easily.
"ANDREW!" I yell, glaring at the surrounding forest. It is no use. Even if he could hear me, he wouldn't answer. He is so afraid of hurting me without meaning to, he's going to end up killing himself - as though that wouldn't hurt me a million times worse!
"Andrew, get out here right now!" I rage impotently.
I lean against a tree, trying to get my breathing under control. I can't help Andrew if I'm panicking. I need to use my head. I need to think.
It takes all of my will power to force myself to remain still and try to reason this out. Andrew must have left as soon as I fell asleep. That means he's been alone for just over twelve hours, now. He would need water. We didn't have time to bring water skins with us when we fled, which means one thing.
River.
The thought has barely entered my head when I am running. Andrew would need to stay near a river if he wanted to drink. I am totally lost in the vast forest now, but I still have the map. I crouch down and search it before standing up and sprinting off again.
The nearest river runs roughly parallel to our home, but that's not the one Andrew would have followed. He would have taken the other, the one that leads to our destination. He would try to make it to the hidden training grounds and save himself. "You should have taken the map," I mutter, clutching it in my hand. How is he going to find them now?
Cursing myself for wasting half the day on useless panic, I jog to the river. I don't see any sign of Andrew, but this does not surprise me. It's been hours, and any sign could have long ago washed away - or been removed by Andrew himself. I close my eyes for a moment, shuddering when I imagine what he is going through now, attacked by his own power and me not there to help him.
I start to run.
The ground is flat and I am going against the flow of water. While the river is wide, I could wade across it if I really wanted to. I don't want to; I want to find Andrew. My breath comes in sharp gasps, but I don't allow myself to slow down. Andrew could be dying even now, waiting for me to come and save him.
I strain my ears and eyes, searching for any sign of anything out of the ordinary that could indicate Andrew is close by. There is nothing. I fight the rising panic. The only thing I can do is keep going.
As the sun sets, I don't stop. I know I should make camp, but I can't bear the thought of stopping when there is breath in my body, knowing that I may be leaving the man I love to his death.
It is full dark soon, but the moon and stars provide enough light for me to keep running. I can feel my muscles shaking in exhaustion, but I ignore them. There are more important things right now.
I don't see the hole in the ground until it catches my foot. I scream as I plunge forward, over the bank, my foot still caught in the hole at the top. I hear a sickening crunch as my leg breaks.
I clamp my hands over my mouth, not because I think anyone is near, but because the sound of my own screams is not really helping me stay calm. Gritting my teeth, I lean awkwardly back and free my foot. The pain is unlike anything I have ever imagined. I lean over to throw up, heaving violently. When it stops, I have only one thought.
Andrew. I still need to find him.
I make to get up, but I can't balance on one leg without a staff, and all the branches lying around are thin and brittle. I sigh, trying very hard not to start crying. I can't walk. There is nothing else for it; I'll have to crawl.
That night is the longest I have ever lived through. Every movement makes the pain worse, but the pain of stopping is the worst of all: the fear that Andrew is dying because I am not with him. I drag myself along on my elbows, my eyes screwed up and my mouth clamped shut.
By the time the sun rises, I feel barely human. I am covered in dirt and leaves, and in so much pain that I can hardly even remember why I am here, only that I need to keep going.
Just one elbow in front of the other, Megan, I tell myself. One, two, one two. That's it.
As I lift my head just an inch to see where I can put my elbow next, my eyes light on a pair of boots. I strain my neck to look right up at the man they belong to. He is tall and middle aged - normal looking - but he has some air about him that hints at the extraordinary.
"You must be Megan," he says, smiling down at me.
I take a minute to work some moisture into my mouth, trying to reply. "Who are you?"
"My name is Breg. Andrew told me to look out for you."
I am suddenly suffused with energy. "Andrew? You have him? He's ok?"
Breg smiles and reaches under my arm, pulling me to my feet, where I sway unsteadily on my one working leg. "Yes, we found him in time. He's at the training grounds. He said you wouldn't give up looking for him, no matter what. I guess he was right."
"Will you take me to him?"
"That's what I'm here for."
I sag in relief, and Breg hastily puts his arm around me, helping to hold me up.
"You're one of them, aren't you?" I say. "One of the ones hidden from the king?"
"Yes," Breg says. "Yes, I'm a wizard."
To be continued
Saturday 10 August 2013
Hidden - part 2
Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog :) This is part two of a little story I'm writing. For anyone who is new here, I would recommend you start at part one and work your way through. Happy reading!
I wake up on fire.
Cursing, I roll over the damp ground, trying to put it out. "Andrew!" I yell. He wakes with a start and yelps when he sees me. The last of the flames go out and I start ripping my burned clothing away from my skin.
"Megan, I'm so sorry!" Andrew wails. "I was asleep, I never meant to -"
"It's fine, I'm ok," I say shortly, tearing off the remains of my jacket. The shirt underneath seems relatively unscathed.
"We can't keep doing this," Andrew mutters, looking wildly around as though hoping a solution will sweep in and save him. "I'm going to kill you if we keep going like this."
"We'll be fine," I say. "Look, we're here on the map. That means we should be at the training grounds in a few days. Once the wizards there help you to control your magic, you won't be a danger to anyone anymore. Ok?"
Andrew doesn't answer; he is staring at my arm in horror. A shiny burn blemishes the skin. I quickly cover it up. As much as it hurts, I am not going to make Andrew feel bad for something that isn't his fault.
"I should go on alone," he says for about the millionth time.
"We've been through this," I say with exaggerated patience. "You can barley walk on your own - there's no way you'll ever make it."
"If you stay here, I'll just keep hurting you!" Andrew bursts out. "Do you have any idea what that's like? Hurting the woman you love and not being able to stop? Seeing you in pain and knowing that it's my fault? If this keeps on, I could kill you!"
I reach forward to hug him, but Andrew pulls back, afraid of hurting me more. "The wizards have been hidden for years; what makes you think we'll even find them? This map could be a fake, or they could have moved... face it Megs, this isn't working."
"I'm done discussing this," I say firmly. "I will not leave you here to die. Come on, it's time we get going."
Ignoring Andrew's protests, I grab his arm and pull him to his feet. The out of control magic inside him has left him weak, weaker than I have ever seen him. I pull his arm over my shoulder and continue to half drag him towards our destination, holding the map firmly in my other hand.
I fleetingly think of home, of my family and Andrew's, before disgust overwhelms me. They abandoned him when the magic came to life in him, afraid of what he would do without meaning to. They kicked him out of our village instead of trying to help him. Now, I'm all he's got.
The ground starts to shudder violently.
"It's ok, we're almost there," I murmur. Andrew mutters something incoherent, trying to get the magic under control. Of course, for all I know, we could be weeks from the training grounds. To preserve my sanity, I tell myself that we will find them soon. If Andrew dies, if his magic finally kills him... I close my eyes, not even wanting to imagine the cold, empty world that would be left behind without him. Slowly, the ground settles; Andrew's stride is even weaker.
I stop as the sun is setting and start wandering around, searching for food and water. In our wild flight, we didn't have time to gather supplies. Tonight is sure to be a cold one, especially without my jacket.
"Here, eat," I say to Andrew, pushing some berries into his hand. He tries to turn away - I know that he lost his appetite a few days ago - but I gently coax them into him. He needs to keep up his strength.
"I'll take first watch," he says. "You should rest. You've spent all day dragging me along, and you're injured. I'll wake you for your watch, once you've had some sleep."
I eye him, wondering if he is strong enough to take watch at all.
Andrew seems to read my mind. "They're not happy we stole their map," he reminds me. "If they catch us both asleep, we're done for."
I reluctantly nod. "Wake me if you need me," I say. I give him a quick kiss and lie down with my back to his warm body. Andrew sits up against a tree, watching the night for any signs of movement. Listening to the sound of his breathing, I fall asleep.
I wake up to panic.
For a second, I am not sure why. Then, it becomes all too clear. The sun is shining brightly. Andrew never woke me for my watch.
I am up in an instant, looking frantically around for him. "Andrew!" I shout. "Andrew, where are you?"
It is no use. I search all around the campsite, cursing myself for not realising what was going to happen. Of course, Andrew would rather die than hurt me. He's probably miles away by now, hidden somewhere where he can't hurt me... and where I can't help him. He was too weak to walk; he must have crawled all night to hide somewhere where he can't hurt me. All alone, he will die, and I can do nothing about it.
"ANDREW!" I scream, staring uselessly at the peaceful forest.
It is no use. He is gone.
To be continued
I wake up on fire.
Cursing, I roll over the damp ground, trying to put it out. "Andrew!" I yell. He wakes with a start and yelps when he sees me. The last of the flames go out and I start ripping my burned clothing away from my skin.
"Megan, I'm so sorry!" Andrew wails. "I was asleep, I never meant to -"
"It's fine, I'm ok," I say shortly, tearing off the remains of my jacket. The shirt underneath seems relatively unscathed.
"We can't keep doing this," Andrew mutters, looking wildly around as though hoping a solution will sweep in and save him. "I'm going to kill you if we keep going like this."
"We'll be fine," I say. "Look, we're here on the map. That means we should be at the training grounds in a few days. Once the wizards there help you to control your magic, you won't be a danger to anyone anymore. Ok?"
Andrew doesn't answer; he is staring at my arm in horror. A shiny burn blemishes the skin. I quickly cover it up. As much as it hurts, I am not going to make Andrew feel bad for something that isn't his fault.
"I should go on alone," he says for about the millionth time.
"We've been through this," I say with exaggerated patience. "You can barley walk on your own - there's no way you'll ever make it."
"If you stay here, I'll just keep hurting you!" Andrew bursts out. "Do you have any idea what that's like? Hurting the woman you love and not being able to stop? Seeing you in pain and knowing that it's my fault? If this keeps on, I could kill you!"
I reach forward to hug him, but Andrew pulls back, afraid of hurting me more. "The wizards have been hidden for years; what makes you think we'll even find them? This map could be a fake, or they could have moved... face it Megs, this isn't working."
"I'm done discussing this," I say firmly. "I will not leave you here to die. Come on, it's time we get going."
Ignoring Andrew's protests, I grab his arm and pull him to his feet. The out of control magic inside him has left him weak, weaker than I have ever seen him. I pull his arm over my shoulder and continue to half drag him towards our destination, holding the map firmly in my other hand.
I fleetingly think of home, of my family and Andrew's, before disgust overwhelms me. They abandoned him when the magic came to life in him, afraid of what he would do without meaning to. They kicked him out of our village instead of trying to help him. Now, I'm all he's got.
The ground starts to shudder violently.
"It's ok, we're almost there," I murmur. Andrew mutters something incoherent, trying to get the magic under control. Of course, for all I know, we could be weeks from the training grounds. To preserve my sanity, I tell myself that we will find them soon. If Andrew dies, if his magic finally kills him... I close my eyes, not even wanting to imagine the cold, empty world that would be left behind without him. Slowly, the ground settles; Andrew's stride is even weaker.
I stop as the sun is setting and start wandering around, searching for food and water. In our wild flight, we didn't have time to gather supplies. Tonight is sure to be a cold one, especially without my jacket.
"Here, eat," I say to Andrew, pushing some berries into his hand. He tries to turn away - I know that he lost his appetite a few days ago - but I gently coax them into him. He needs to keep up his strength.
"I'll take first watch," he says. "You should rest. You've spent all day dragging me along, and you're injured. I'll wake you for your watch, once you've had some sleep."
I eye him, wondering if he is strong enough to take watch at all.
Andrew seems to read my mind. "They're not happy we stole their map," he reminds me. "If they catch us both asleep, we're done for."
I reluctantly nod. "Wake me if you need me," I say. I give him a quick kiss and lie down with my back to his warm body. Andrew sits up against a tree, watching the night for any signs of movement. Listening to the sound of his breathing, I fall asleep.
I wake up to panic.
For a second, I am not sure why. Then, it becomes all too clear. The sun is shining brightly. Andrew never woke me for my watch.
I am up in an instant, looking frantically around for him. "Andrew!" I shout. "Andrew, where are you?"
It is no use. I search all around the campsite, cursing myself for not realising what was going to happen. Of course, Andrew would rather die than hurt me. He's probably miles away by now, hidden somewhere where he can't hurt me... and where I can't help him. He was too weak to walk; he must have crawled all night to hide somewhere where he can't hurt me. All alone, he will die, and I can do nothing about it.
"ANDREW!" I scream, staring uselessly at the peaceful forest.
It is no use. He is gone.
To be continued
Wednesday 7 August 2013
Hidden - part 1
"If we go back, they will kill us."
"So would you recommend not going back?" I hiss.
Andrew doesn't answer. He knows that our options are just about zero.
"We really only have two options," I whisper, peering out from behind the tree we are in, checking for signs of pursuit. "We could go in fast, try to grab it and get out before they notice, or we could sneak in and out, trying not to be seen."
Andrew is staring back the way we came, not listening to a word I am saying.
"Andrew!" I elbow him hard in the ribs. "This is important. Speed or stealth."
He seems to come back to himself, shaking his head as though to shake some clarity into it. "You don't have to do this, you know," he says. "This has to do with me, not with you."
I just roll my eyes. "Speed or stealth? What do you think?"
"Um... I'd say speed. See, I'm not sure how much time we have before -"
Andrew's words are cut off as his mouth clamps shut. I grab him as he begins to shake, making sure he doesn't fall out of the tree.
"Focus," I breathe, holding him tightly. "Just focus."
Even as he tries, one of the branches next to us catches fire. Andrew screws up his eyes in concentration, but he can't control it. Making a split second decision, I leap off the lower branches, pulling me with him. "Come on, we need to do this now before they bring reinforcements! Just try to channel it."
Andrew can barely walk, let alone channel anything.
"Come on, Andrew, do it for me," I say softly. "You can do this."
He closes his eyes and nods. We run to the edge of the forest, to the fortress we just left. The fortress we just fled, lucky to escape with our lives. If we want to keep our lives for much longer, though, we need what they are guarding there.
They obviously weren't expecting us back so soon, and are momentarily shocked. The two guards at the door take just a second too long to cross their pikes. I barrel through them, tugging Andrew by the hand. As we go past, he manages to channel the violent forces inside him. I hear bloodcurdling screams as the two men behind us catch fire.
We run through the hall as guards flood in from every side. Arrows zip past us. I know that one good hit will be all it takes to end our lives forever.
The floor starts to tremble and people on every side start falling down. Andrew staggers, then slumps to his knees, the powers inside him finally taking their toll. I can see it, though. In a wooden cabinet just ten feet away, the end of a scroll sticks out. All the guards are converging on Andrew; it is unprotected.
Praying that he can defend himself in his current state, I leave his side and make a mad dash for the cabinet. I reach inside and grab the scroll, rushing back to Andrew's side.
Now, we are in trouble. We are surrounded by a bristling ring of steel. Even if Andrew could set fire to every one of them, the guards would pepper us with arrows before they fell. I grab his arm and pull him up, determined to try to get out, even if it means we die trying.
Then something happens that I did not expect.
I pull Andrew up to face the guards and see... trees. Trees and a lake. Spinning wildly on the spot, I find us in the middle of a glade that I recognise - one many miles from the fortress we were in just minutes ago.
Andrew's arm slips from my grasp as he sinks back onto the ground, panting. "It's getting stronger," he gasps.
I can feel my face draining of blood as I realise what he means; what just happened.
"How long?" I whisper.
Andrew just shakes his head. "It's harder to control every time. I don't know... Megan, I don't want to go the same way as John."
I kneel down and hug him. "You won't," I promise him. "We've got the map, now, see?" I hold up the scroll. "We'll find the training grounds. Once you know how to use your magic, it won't consume you."
"Why did I have to be a wizard?" Andrew sighs in despair.
I don't know what to say to him. Many years ago, being born a wizard was a great gift. Once it manifested, the person in question was trained by experts to control their power so that they could use it for good. If not controlled, it would consume them, ending in a violent death.
That was never a problem until the king's wife was killed in a magical accident. He then started a vendetta against all magic, driving all known wizards into hiding. With no one to train new wizards, young men and women everywhere were dying, killed by their own uncontrolled magic. The more powerful they got, the closer their end.
Judging by how Andrew just got us here, I would say he's getting pretty powerful.
"When we find the other wizards and the training grounds, they will help you," I say firmly. "You'll be fine, just fine."
Andrew doesn't answer and when I look at him, I see that he has passed out. I lean over and kiss him lightly on the lips. "You'll be ok, I promise," I whisper.
I sit back on my heels, clutching the scroll of paper that is Andrew's only hope.
To be continued
"So would you recommend not going back?" I hiss.
Andrew doesn't answer. He knows that our options are just about zero.
"We really only have two options," I whisper, peering out from behind the tree we are in, checking for signs of pursuit. "We could go in fast, try to grab it and get out before they notice, or we could sneak in and out, trying not to be seen."
Andrew is staring back the way we came, not listening to a word I am saying.
"Andrew!" I elbow him hard in the ribs. "This is important. Speed or stealth."
He seems to come back to himself, shaking his head as though to shake some clarity into it. "You don't have to do this, you know," he says. "This has to do with me, not with you."
I just roll my eyes. "Speed or stealth? What do you think?"
"Um... I'd say speed. See, I'm not sure how much time we have before -"
Andrew's words are cut off as his mouth clamps shut. I grab him as he begins to shake, making sure he doesn't fall out of the tree.
"Focus," I breathe, holding him tightly. "Just focus."
Even as he tries, one of the branches next to us catches fire. Andrew screws up his eyes in concentration, but he can't control it. Making a split second decision, I leap off the lower branches, pulling me with him. "Come on, we need to do this now before they bring reinforcements! Just try to channel it."
Andrew can barely walk, let alone channel anything.
"Come on, Andrew, do it for me," I say softly. "You can do this."
He closes his eyes and nods. We run to the edge of the forest, to the fortress we just left. The fortress we just fled, lucky to escape with our lives. If we want to keep our lives for much longer, though, we need what they are guarding there.
They obviously weren't expecting us back so soon, and are momentarily shocked. The two guards at the door take just a second too long to cross their pikes. I barrel through them, tugging Andrew by the hand. As we go past, he manages to channel the violent forces inside him. I hear bloodcurdling screams as the two men behind us catch fire.
We run through the hall as guards flood in from every side. Arrows zip past us. I know that one good hit will be all it takes to end our lives forever.
The floor starts to tremble and people on every side start falling down. Andrew staggers, then slumps to his knees, the powers inside him finally taking their toll. I can see it, though. In a wooden cabinet just ten feet away, the end of a scroll sticks out. All the guards are converging on Andrew; it is unprotected.
Praying that he can defend himself in his current state, I leave his side and make a mad dash for the cabinet. I reach inside and grab the scroll, rushing back to Andrew's side.
Now, we are in trouble. We are surrounded by a bristling ring of steel. Even if Andrew could set fire to every one of them, the guards would pepper us with arrows before they fell. I grab his arm and pull him up, determined to try to get out, even if it means we die trying.
Then something happens that I did not expect.
I pull Andrew up to face the guards and see... trees. Trees and a lake. Spinning wildly on the spot, I find us in the middle of a glade that I recognise - one many miles from the fortress we were in just minutes ago.
Andrew's arm slips from my grasp as he sinks back onto the ground, panting. "It's getting stronger," he gasps.
I can feel my face draining of blood as I realise what he means; what just happened.
"How long?" I whisper.
Andrew just shakes his head. "It's harder to control every time. I don't know... Megan, I don't want to go the same way as John."
I kneel down and hug him. "You won't," I promise him. "We've got the map, now, see?" I hold up the scroll. "We'll find the training grounds. Once you know how to use your magic, it won't consume you."
"Why did I have to be a wizard?" Andrew sighs in despair.
I don't know what to say to him. Many years ago, being born a wizard was a great gift. Once it manifested, the person in question was trained by experts to control their power so that they could use it for good. If not controlled, it would consume them, ending in a violent death.
That was never a problem until the king's wife was killed in a magical accident. He then started a vendetta against all magic, driving all known wizards into hiding. With no one to train new wizards, young men and women everywhere were dying, killed by their own uncontrolled magic. The more powerful they got, the closer their end.
Judging by how Andrew just got us here, I would say he's getting pretty powerful.
"When we find the other wizards and the training grounds, they will help you," I say firmly. "You'll be fine, just fine."
Andrew doesn't answer and when I look at him, I see that he has passed out. I lean over and kiss him lightly on the lips. "You'll be ok, I promise," I whisper.
I sit back on my heels, clutching the scroll of paper that is Andrew's only hope.
To be continued
Tuesday 6 August 2013
Equilibrium
Hi everyone! :)
So my book is coming out soon! It's my debut novel, and I'm very excited about it. I thought I'd use this post to tell you about it...
I started writing over two years ago, and since then I have sent my books to more publishers and agents than I care to count. Finally, Equilibrium got accepted by an American publisher, Black Rose Writing. I've been working very hard to promote it, and the time is close. It comes out in America on August 22nd. I'm shipping some copies here (South Africa, where I live), which will arrive in late September.
So I'm guessing you want to know what Equilibrium is about? It's a young adult fantasy romance novel, the first in a trilogy. I try to write a book I would like to read, and since I love YA, that's what I've written. It is different from a lot of other YA titles in that it is set in a completely different world (not Earth). Many - like Twilight - have elements of fantasy, but are still set on this planet. I prefer different worlds, though - worlds where you can make up your own rules!
Here is the blurb:
“In times of old, powers unlike any we can imagine ruled the Five Lands. Now, those powers are being reawakened. Dark times are coming…”
Kim and Nick have been best friends since they were born. They live peaceful lives in the smallest of the Five Lands. That is, until mysterious strangers turn up and rip their lives apart. Kim and Nick are forced to flee..., with no idea of who is pursuing them or why. They find themselves in the middle of a war they never wanted to fight, a war between powers greater than any the world has ever seen.
Throughout, Kim is haunted by a wraith that only she can see, who insists that she and Nick must get their memories back. Of course, they have all their memories. They know exactly who they are… don’t they?
As the situation spins further and further out of their control, Kim and Nick are forced to confront the possibility that they are both much more than they have been brought up to believe. Who are they to each other? Were they ever more than just best friends? The fate of the world depends on them finding out exactly who they really are…
This is the piece about myself that I have written for the back:
Lauren Kirk-Cohen is a young woman with Asperger’s Syndrome. She grew up in Cape Town, South Africa, with her parents and sister, and started writing shortly after she left school. Her regular haunts include the fantasy sections in bookshops, and her bookshelf is filled with stories set in faraway worlds where anything is possible. Lauren regularly loses herself in writing magical stories where true love is real and there are always happy endings. After years of dreaming about becoming an author, her fantasy finally came to life when Equilibrium, her debut novel, was accepted for publication shortly before her twenty-first birthday.
Please take a minute to like the facebook page! Every bit of support counts. I'm going to make this book great, and you can help me!
https://www.facebook.com/EquilibriumForgottenGodsBook1
You can also follow me on Twitter, where I will be posting any updates on Equilibrium:
https://twitter.com/LaurenKirkCohen
Here's the cover art!
Please support! :D
Thanks
Lauren
So my book is coming out soon! It's my debut novel, and I'm very excited about it. I thought I'd use this post to tell you about it...
I started writing over two years ago, and since then I have sent my books to more publishers and agents than I care to count. Finally, Equilibrium got accepted by an American publisher, Black Rose Writing. I've been working very hard to promote it, and the time is close. It comes out in America on August 22nd. I'm shipping some copies here (South Africa, where I live), which will arrive in late September.
So I'm guessing you want to know what Equilibrium is about? It's a young adult fantasy romance novel, the first in a trilogy. I try to write a book I would like to read, and since I love YA, that's what I've written. It is different from a lot of other YA titles in that it is set in a completely different world (not Earth). Many - like Twilight - have elements of fantasy, but are still set on this planet. I prefer different worlds, though - worlds where you can make up your own rules!
Here is the blurb:
“In times of old, powers unlike any we can imagine ruled the Five Lands. Now, those powers are being reawakened. Dark times are coming…”
Kim and Nick have been best friends since they were born. They live peaceful lives in the smallest of the Five Lands. That is, until mysterious strangers turn up and rip their lives apart. Kim and Nick are forced to flee..., with no idea of who is pursuing them or why. They find themselves in the middle of a war they never wanted to fight, a war between powers greater than any the world has ever seen.
Throughout, Kim is haunted by a wraith that only she can see, who insists that she and Nick must get their memories back. Of course, they have all their memories. They know exactly who they are… don’t they?
As the situation spins further and further out of their control, Kim and Nick are forced to confront the possibility that they are both much more than they have been brought up to believe. Who are they to each other? Were they ever more than just best friends? The fate of the world depends on them finding out exactly who they really are…
This is the piece about myself that I have written for the back:
Lauren Kirk-Cohen is a young woman with Asperger’s Syndrome. She grew up in Cape Town, South Africa, with her parents and sister, and started writing shortly after she left school. Her regular haunts include the fantasy sections in bookshops, and her bookshelf is filled with stories set in faraway worlds where anything is possible. Lauren regularly loses herself in writing magical stories where true love is real and there are always happy endings. After years of dreaming about becoming an author, her fantasy finally came to life when Equilibrium, her debut novel, was accepted for publication shortly before her twenty-first birthday.
Please take a minute to like the facebook page! Every bit of support counts. I'm going to make this book great, and you can help me!
https://www.facebook.com/EquilibriumForgottenGodsBook1
You can also follow me on Twitter, where I will be posting any updates on Equilibrium:
https://twitter.com/LaurenKirkCohen
Here's the cover art!
Please support! :D
Thanks
Lauren
Sunday 4 August 2013
Secrets - part 7 - final part
Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog :) This is part seven (the final part) of a little story I'm writing. For anyone who is new here, I would recommend you start at part one and work your way through. Happy reading!
Nick doesn't hesitate, but strides swiftly over to my bed. Kneeling down, he takes my hand very gently. "Kim, what did you do?" he moans. "Are you ok? I was so worried about you!"
My brow furrows in confusion. Has he forgotten the conversation we had? Has he forgotten that I confessed to lying to him for two years?
"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" he asks, reading my expression of discomfort.
Still frowning, I bring up the scene in my mind. When I told Nick that I am really the queen, and that Lene is the servant, his whole face was a mask of shock. I can't imagine him forgetting that so soon. Yet here he is, the picture of kindness and concern...
"Don't you remember?" I whisper.
"Remember what?"
"What I told you..." I hesitate. If he somehow did forget, should I remind him? Maybe it would be better to keep quiet... The words bubble out before I give them permission to do so. I am so sick of lying. "I told you that I'm the queen. I saw you, before I ran. You were horrified."
"Kim, of course I was horrified," Nick says, cupping my face in his hand. "Someone tried to poison you, remember? Now that I know you're the queen, I know why. I also know that it will most likely happen again. Of course I was terrified for you. You're at so much risk, and I never knew to protect you..."
I close my eyes, trying to understand. My brain is still fuzzy from all of the smoke I inhaled. "Then... then you don't hate me for lying to you?"
Nick chuckles softly. "How could I ever hate you, Kim? You went through to much to keep this from me, all to protect me. You suffered so much so that I might be safe. Me, be mad at you? I love you. How could you ever think I would abandon you?"
A small part of me is a little ashamed for not believing in Nick, but mostly, I am relieved. Relieved and overjoyed. He doesn't hate me. It isn't over. A stray tear drips from my eye, getting caught in my smile.
"I love you," I mumble. It seems that the stress of the day is finally getting to me, and I can feel sleep coming for me, whether I like it or not. I have just enough strength left in my arm to pull the covers back.
"Is that allowed - a queen inviting a commoner into her bed?"
Nick is smiling, and a small giggle makes its way out of my mouth. "Anything is allowed when I'm the queen - I'll set a royal decree if I have to."
Nick needs no further persuasion. He climbs into bed with me and holds me as I drift off. In the few minutes before I fall asleep, I realise that something profound has changed. Not for Nick - he loves me no matter what, as I should have realised - but for me.
I had never realised how heavily the lies sat on my mind all these years. I did it to protect the people I love, but constantly pretending takes a toll on a person, one that I never even realised was there. With Nick here with me, knowing that there are no more secrets between us, I feel an invisible weight lifting off my chest. It is as though I can take a full breath for the first time in years.
I may never tell anyone else, not even Sophie, but I know in this moment that I will be ok, with Nick at my side.
As though reading my mind, he speaks softly in my ear. "This won't be forever. We'll get rid of your enemies, make the kingdom safe for you. Then everyone can know who you are, what you have done for them."
He paints a picture in my mind of cheering crowds, the ones that usually throw their adoration at Lene. All smiling at me... I close my eyes, and at peace for the first time in years, I drift off to sleep.
Three weeks later
"Are you sure they're all ok?" I ask for the fifth time.
"They're fine," Julun says, giving me the glowing look of love that he has worn in my presence ever since I saved his wife. "The messenger said they're just taking it slowly."
I wait, Nick's hand in mine, watching the doors. Heleta and her party don't keep us waiting long.
A wagon bearing a small tree is pulled by two horses. Heleta rides on top, with guards on either side. Though I knew her mission wasn't a dangerous one, I am still relieved she's safe.
Nick squeezes my hand, his eyes blazing. I can read his emotions through the slightest touch. Heleta is holding hope. For the first time, I can choose. I can choose whether to accept the vision which is both a blessing and a curse. With the tree, I will be able to take my life into my own hands.
"What happens if you decide to destroy it?" Nick asks softly, as they make their way up to the palace.
"Then I'll be free - I won't have the power, or the side effects. It'll grow back, though. I guess I'll have to decide each time whether I want to be able to tell truth from lies along with the hallucinations, or if we'll burn it again."
"We can do that," Nick says.
Lene is smiling at me. "We'll plant it somewhere out of sight," she says. "You will be able to decide at any time."
I nod, and she cocks her head enquiringly. I shake my head slightly. No, we are not ready for people to know I am the queen yet. As Lene walks down to formally greet the returning soldiers, Nick squeezes my hand. Just then, the sun crests the horizon, like a bright hope for a new life, starting now.
"We'll be ok," he says.
I lean my head against his shoulder, watching the light of the new day. "Yes, we will."
And for possibly the first time in my life, I really believe it.
The End
Nick doesn't hesitate, but strides swiftly over to my bed. Kneeling down, he takes my hand very gently. "Kim, what did you do?" he moans. "Are you ok? I was so worried about you!"
My brow furrows in confusion. Has he forgotten the conversation we had? Has he forgotten that I confessed to lying to him for two years?
"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" he asks, reading my expression of discomfort.
Still frowning, I bring up the scene in my mind. When I told Nick that I am really the queen, and that Lene is the servant, his whole face was a mask of shock. I can't imagine him forgetting that so soon. Yet here he is, the picture of kindness and concern...
"Don't you remember?" I whisper.
"Remember what?"
"What I told you..." I hesitate. If he somehow did forget, should I remind him? Maybe it would be better to keep quiet... The words bubble out before I give them permission to do so. I am so sick of lying. "I told you that I'm the queen. I saw you, before I ran. You were horrified."
"Kim, of course I was horrified," Nick says, cupping my face in his hand. "Someone tried to poison you, remember? Now that I know you're the queen, I know why. I also know that it will most likely happen again. Of course I was terrified for you. You're at so much risk, and I never knew to protect you..."
I close my eyes, trying to understand. My brain is still fuzzy from all of the smoke I inhaled. "Then... then you don't hate me for lying to you?"
Nick chuckles softly. "How could I ever hate you, Kim? You went through to much to keep this from me, all to protect me. You suffered so much so that I might be safe. Me, be mad at you? I love you. How could you ever think I would abandon you?"
A small part of me is a little ashamed for not believing in Nick, but mostly, I am relieved. Relieved and overjoyed. He doesn't hate me. It isn't over. A stray tear drips from my eye, getting caught in my smile.
"I love you," I mumble. It seems that the stress of the day is finally getting to me, and I can feel sleep coming for me, whether I like it or not. I have just enough strength left in my arm to pull the covers back.
"Is that allowed - a queen inviting a commoner into her bed?"
Nick is smiling, and a small giggle makes its way out of my mouth. "Anything is allowed when I'm the queen - I'll set a royal decree if I have to."
Nick needs no further persuasion. He climbs into bed with me and holds me as I drift off. In the few minutes before I fall asleep, I realise that something profound has changed. Not for Nick - he loves me no matter what, as I should have realised - but for me.
I had never realised how heavily the lies sat on my mind all these years. I did it to protect the people I love, but constantly pretending takes a toll on a person, one that I never even realised was there. With Nick here with me, knowing that there are no more secrets between us, I feel an invisible weight lifting off my chest. It is as though I can take a full breath for the first time in years.
I may never tell anyone else, not even Sophie, but I know in this moment that I will be ok, with Nick at my side.
As though reading my mind, he speaks softly in my ear. "This won't be forever. We'll get rid of your enemies, make the kingdom safe for you. Then everyone can know who you are, what you have done for them."
He paints a picture in my mind of cheering crowds, the ones that usually throw their adoration at Lene. All smiling at me... I close my eyes, and at peace for the first time in years, I drift off to sleep.
Three weeks later
"Are you sure they're all ok?" I ask for the fifth time.
"They're fine," Julun says, giving me the glowing look of love that he has worn in my presence ever since I saved his wife. "The messenger said they're just taking it slowly."
I wait, Nick's hand in mine, watching the doors. Heleta and her party don't keep us waiting long.
A wagon bearing a small tree is pulled by two horses. Heleta rides on top, with guards on either side. Though I knew her mission wasn't a dangerous one, I am still relieved she's safe.
Nick squeezes my hand, his eyes blazing. I can read his emotions through the slightest touch. Heleta is holding hope. For the first time, I can choose. I can choose whether to accept the vision which is both a blessing and a curse. With the tree, I will be able to take my life into my own hands.
"What happens if you decide to destroy it?" Nick asks softly, as they make their way up to the palace.
"Then I'll be free - I won't have the power, or the side effects. It'll grow back, though. I guess I'll have to decide each time whether I want to be able to tell truth from lies along with the hallucinations, or if we'll burn it again."
"We can do that," Nick says.
Lene is smiling at me. "We'll plant it somewhere out of sight," she says. "You will be able to decide at any time."
I nod, and she cocks her head enquiringly. I shake my head slightly. No, we are not ready for people to know I am the queen yet. As Lene walks down to formally greet the returning soldiers, Nick squeezes my hand. Just then, the sun crests the horizon, like a bright hope for a new life, starting now.
"We'll be ok," he says.
I lean my head against his shoulder, watching the light of the new day. "Yes, we will."
And for possibly the first time in my life, I really believe it.
The End
Thursday 1 August 2013
Secrets - part 6
Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog :) This is part six of a little story I'm writing. For anyone who is new here, I would recommend you start at part one and work your way through. Happy reading!
"What?" Nick whispers. His face is white and shocked.
"I'm so sorry," I say, my voice barely audible, choked with tears. Then I turn and run, not wanting to see the accusation in his gaze, because he is absolutely right. I have lied to him for two years. How can he ever trust me again? How can he even look at me?
I flee the silent condemnation. I think he is shouting something - my name, maybe - but I don't wait. I am cowardly enough not to want to face his anger and hurt. I have faced down armies, but I can't face Nick's disappointment in me.
I run all the way up to the palace, to the one place I know Nick won't be able to follow me. It is an effort adopting the meek exterior of a servant - even as tears run down my face - but I force myself to try. Clearly, keeping up appearances is more important than anything; the insistent pain in my chest tells me that.
Lene opens the door and I can see she is about to say something comforting, something nice and kind, something to try to make me feel better when I am so obviously upset.
"I'd like to be alone, please," I say in a shaky voice, doing my best to keep it civil. This is not Lene's fault; telling Nick was entirely my own decision.
"Kim..."
"Wake me an hour before dawn," I say shortly.
Lene knows me well enough to know not to test me right now. She retreats into the servant's room adjoined to the royal bedchamber and closes the door. I know I am being reckless. Crying as loudly as I am, someone could well come in and question why the girl they think of as the queen's servant is lying in her bed.
I feel that I deserve no less than this punishment; for once, I must take what comes with my station. There is no blending into obscurity for me, now; at least, not with Nick. I cannot unsay what I have already said.
I try to tell myself that it was for Nick's protection, that if he knew I was really the queen and Lene really the servant, he would be in danger. As true as this is, I can't erase the absolute shock on his face when I told him. He never saw it coming... and now he must hate me.
It takes hours for me to cry myself out, and even then it is not acceptance, but rather a kind of numbness that takes me. I can't have lost Nick. I love him too much to lose him. The encounter hides in the shadows of my mind, giving me some small amount of protection.
Lene wakes me at dawn, as I asked. I don't stay long enough for her to talk to me, but hurry down to the kitchens to grab something to eat before meeting Julun. Action helps cover the hole inside me that Nick left. I chew on bread that I can't taste as I make my way down to the market, a bow from the armoury clutched in my hand. I figure it's my best bet against the sorceress. I can catch her by surprise and shoot her before she can kill Julun's wife.
Julun is waiting anxiously at the wagon. "Let's go," I say shortly.
"Kim, wait," he says. "Listen. You don't have to do this. You are the queen. You are more valuable to the kingdom than any other one person. Even... even Sarah."
"Yes, Julun, I am the queen," I say. "As queen, it is my duty to protect my people. Who would I be if I let Sarah die without trying to save her?"
"But -"
"This discussion is over," I say shortly. "Stay or go, your choice."
I don't wait to see what he decides, but duck straight under the wagon, crawling into the tunnel beneath it. I have only been going for a few seconds before I hear Julun climbing in behind me. We crawl for a long way, though it seems shorter than yesterday. I have a healthy dread for what lies ahead today, and more than a small fear that I won't come back alive. The tunnel flies by.
Before we exit, I turn to Julun in the darkness. "I'm going to circle around her," I say. "You give me five minutes, then start going towards her. Don't try to hide your approach. Tell her I am dead, and that you can take her to the body - that you couldn't get it away from the castle. While you're talking, I'll come up behind and shoot her."
"Kim, if - "
"Good luck," I say.
Julun tries to talk again, but I am already out, creeping silently around through the trees, going around the glade where I know the sorceress is. I trust Julun to do it, now; he won't hesitate once my life is already in danger and his diversion could save me.
I get around the back of the glade, and move as far forward as I dare. After five minutes has passed, I start moving again. Julun will be distracting her by now. As I get closer to the glade, I think I hear him pushing past bushes to get to it.
Then I hear her voice.
"You have returned very soon. I hope your job is done."
"She is dead," Julun says in a flat voice.
"Where?" the sorceress asks, and I hear suspicion in her voice. I don't let the conversation go on any longer. I draw, aim and shoot.
A gust of wind blows the arrow ever so slightly to the left. It pierces her left lung rather than her heart.
She screams and falls to the ground. She will be dead in minutes, but while alive, she is still dangerous.
"Julun, get down!" I yell.
His eyes meet mine and for a second, I am not sure if he is going to obey.
Then he hits the ground just as a spurt of flame tears through the air where his head was a second earlier.
Drawing another arrow, I shoot again. It pierces her head, and the sorceress lies still.
The rest does not. Her fire has set the forest alight, and Sarah is somewhere in here.
"Julun, spread out and search," I say, glancing around at the burning trees. Where would the sorceress hide Sarah?
I look around, but I can see no sign of her.
Julun, though, seems to be drawn by an invisible force towards a tree - one of the few that is not burning. Leaning down, he lifts a piece of bark - all but invisible - from the ground, and seconds later, he and Sarah are hugging and laughing and crying all at once. He pulls her up from the hole in the ground - I can only guess what instinct or connection to her led him there - and kisses her.
"We have to move," I shout, pulling them apart. Julun seems to realise that the forest is burning, and he grabs Sarah's hand, helping her along as we run.
By the time we have reached the city gates, all three of us have minor burns and are coughing violently. The guards react with alarmed concern, holding me up as I vomit on the dirty ground. Though they don't know who I am, they do me proud with their respect for common citizens - at least, who they think is a common citizen. I am carried up to the palace, and from there it doesn't take long for Lene to find me and have me brought to her chambers.
"I had to save her," I mumble, my throat burning.
Lene strokes my face. "Of course you did," she says gently. "Julun... well, when he's conscious, he'll want to speak to you. I suspect he's thinking of renaming his daughter after you." She grins, and I smile warily back. My eyes flutter closed, but before I can drift off, someone knocks on the door.
I let Lene answer it, listening to the voices that I can't quite make out. A second later, she comes back, accompanied by someone else. I can't make out who it is at first through the haze of my vision. When I do, my breath catches in my chest.
I try to read the expression on his face, but my mind is too jumbled to do it properly. Fear floods through me. I guess I knew I'd have to face this eventually. I had just hoped it wouldn't be so soon.
My voice is a whisper of resignation. "Nick."
To be continued
"What?" Nick whispers. His face is white and shocked.
"I'm so sorry," I say, my voice barely audible, choked with tears. Then I turn and run, not wanting to see the accusation in his gaze, because he is absolutely right. I have lied to him for two years. How can he ever trust me again? How can he even look at me?
I flee the silent condemnation. I think he is shouting something - my name, maybe - but I don't wait. I am cowardly enough not to want to face his anger and hurt. I have faced down armies, but I can't face Nick's disappointment in me.
I run all the way up to the palace, to the one place I know Nick won't be able to follow me. It is an effort adopting the meek exterior of a servant - even as tears run down my face - but I force myself to try. Clearly, keeping up appearances is more important than anything; the insistent pain in my chest tells me that.
Lene opens the door and I can see she is about to say something comforting, something nice and kind, something to try to make me feel better when I am so obviously upset.
"I'd like to be alone, please," I say in a shaky voice, doing my best to keep it civil. This is not Lene's fault; telling Nick was entirely my own decision.
"Kim..."
"Wake me an hour before dawn," I say shortly.
Lene knows me well enough to know not to test me right now. She retreats into the servant's room adjoined to the royal bedchamber and closes the door. I know I am being reckless. Crying as loudly as I am, someone could well come in and question why the girl they think of as the queen's servant is lying in her bed.
I feel that I deserve no less than this punishment; for once, I must take what comes with my station. There is no blending into obscurity for me, now; at least, not with Nick. I cannot unsay what I have already said.
I try to tell myself that it was for Nick's protection, that if he knew I was really the queen and Lene really the servant, he would be in danger. As true as this is, I can't erase the absolute shock on his face when I told him. He never saw it coming... and now he must hate me.
It takes hours for me to cry myself out, and even then it is not acceptance, but rather a kind of numbness that takes me. I can't have lost Nick. I love him too much to lose him. The encounter hides in the shadows of my mind, giving me some small amount of protection.
Lene wakes me at dawn, as I asked. I don't stay long enough for her to talk to me, but hurry down to the kitchens to grab something to eat before meeting Julun. Action helps cover the hole inside me that Nick left. I chew on bread that I can't taste as I make my way down to the market, a bow from the armoury clutched in my hand. I figure it's my best bet against the sorceress. I can catch her by surprise and shoot her before she can kill Julun's wife.
Julun is waiting anxiously at the wagon. "Let's go," I say shortly.
"Kim, wait," he says. "Listen. You don't have to do this. You are the queen. You are more valuable to the kingdom than any other one person. Even... even Sarah."
"Yes, Julun, I am the queen," I say. "As queen, it is my duty to protect my people. Who would I be if I let Sarah die without trying to save her?"
"But -"
"This discussion is over," I say shortly. "Stay or go, your choice."
I don't wait to see what he decides, but duck straight under the wagon, crawling into the tunnel beneath it. I have only been going for a few seconds before I hear Julun climbing in behind me. We crawl for a long way, though it seems shorter than yesterday. I have a healthy dread for what lies ahead today, and more than a small fear that I won't come back alive. The tunnel flies by.
Before we exit, I turn to Julun in the darkness. "I'm going to circle around her," I say. "You give me five minutes, then start going towards her. Don't try to hide your approach. Tell her I am dead, and that you can take her to the body - that you couldn't get it away from the castle. While you're talking, I'll come up behind and shoot her."
"Kim, if - "
"Good luck," I say.
Julun tries to talk again, but I am already out, creeping silently around through the trees, going around the glade where I know the sorceress is. I trust Julun to do it, now; he won't hesitate once my life is already in danger and his diversion could save me.
I get around the back of the glade, and move as far forward as I dare. After five minutes has passed, I start moving again. Julun will be distracting her by now. As I get closer to the glade, I think I hear him pushing past bushes to get to it.
Then I hear her voice.
"You have returned very soon. I hope your job is done."
"She is dead," Julun says in a flat voice.
"Where?" the sorceress asks, and I hear suspicion in her voice. I don't let the conversation go on any longer. I draw, aim and shoot.
A gust of wind blows the arrow ever so slightly to the left. It pierces her left lung rather than her heart.
She screams and falls to the ground. She will be dead in minutes, but while alive, she is still dangerous.
"Julun, get down!" I yell.
His eyes meet mine and for a second, I am not sure if he is going to obey.
Then he hits the ground just as a spurt of flame tears through the air where his head was a second earlier.
Drawing another arrow, I shoot again. It pierces her head, and the sorceress lies still.
The rest does not. Her fire has set the forest alight, and Sarah is somewhere in here.
"Julun, spread out and search," I say, glancing around at the burning trees. Where would the sorceress hide Sarah?
I look around, but I can see no sign of her.
Julun, though, seems to be drawn by an invisible force towards a tree - one of the few that is not burning. Leaning down, he lifts a piece of bark - all but invisible - from the ground, and seconds later, he and Sarah are hugging and laughing and crying all at once. He pulls her up from the hole in the ground - I can only guess what instinct or connection to her led him there - and kisses her.
"We have to move," I shout, pulling them apart. Julun seems to realise that the forest is burning, and he grabs Sarah's hand, helping her along as we run.
By the time we have reached the city gates, all three of us have minor burns and are coughing violently. The guards react with alarmed concern, holding me up as I vomit on the dirty ground. Though they don't know who I am, they do me proud with their respect for common citizens - at least, who they think is a common citizen. I am carried up to the palace, and from there it doesn't take long for Lene to find me and have me brought to her chambers.
"I had to save her," I mumble, my throat burning.
Lene strokes my face. "Of course you did," she says gently. "Julun... well, when he's conscious, he'll want to speak to you. I suspect he's thinking of renaming his daughter after you." She grins, and I smile warily back. My eyes flutter closed, but before I can drift off, someone knocks on the door.
I let Lene answer it, listening to the voices that I can't quite make out. A second later, she comes back, accompanied by someone else. I can't make out who it is at first through the haze of my vision. When I do, my breath catches in my chest.
I try to read the expression on his face, but my mind is too jumbled to do it properly. Fear floods through me. I guess I knew I'd have to face this eventually. I had just hoped it wouldn't be so soon.
My voice is a whisper of resignation. "Nick."
To be continued
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